But I don't feel like writing at all.
School? Somehow, I know, I'm just fucking starting all over again.
I know I'm running away again.
But it's so fucked up.
Because I'm getting what I want.Don't tell me it's not fucked up.
Don't tell me it's alright.
Because it's not.
Because I'm being told, by some god spitting in my face,
"SURPRISE! BITCH."And I'm not fucking happy.
What kind of fucked up prank is this?
Do you like playing with my life?
Do you like fucking around with me?
Is it so goddamn interesting?Because I'll tell you what's happening.
My dad has come back into the family.
Emma has started to talk to me again, and we don't argue.
Sora is the same as ever, but I still feel happy when I'm with her.
And things are moving back into place, just like how I wanted.
But I don't want this anymore.
I don't want any of this anymore.
I gave up on thinking my dad would come back.
I gave up on having Emma back.
I gave up on being happy with Sora.
I gave up on myself.
I stood up and walked away from myself.
Isn't that good enough?What kind of fucked up game am I playing?
Did I fight to the death and finally get my reward?
Did I become a heroine and save everyone?
Did I win this war?And if I did, is this my reward?
Because if this is my reward for
trying to start all over again,
I want something else.