Tell me.

Can anyone be this tired?


十五のあなたに、伝えたいことがあるのです by 優 @Pixiv

"To the ten year old me, I have something to tell you."

At one point, my life looked like that. Except the girl on the left wasn't my older self, but rather, the girl I wanted to become.

She held that paper up, and read to me all the misfortunes that would happen to me. She told me all of the dreams that didn't happen, and so many other cruel things.

I was being bullied.

There's no surprise there. I'm sure.

"Really. Look at yourself. You think you can achieve dreams like that?"

"Yes." Because aren't false hopes everything?
Because they were mine, and you can't tell me otherwise.

Because she says so. Even her pretty face doesn't lie to me.
You can.

And that's all I'll ever have.

I'm not sorry.
I'm not self-assured.
I'm not grateful.
I'm not happy, whatever that means.

I'm angry.
I'm hurt, and probably broken.
I'm spiteful and even acerbic.
I'm tired,
and anybody would know,
because I'm telling them now.

That not how it's played, though.

I'm the girl on the right.
Nothing has changed.
I'm sobbing.
Crying my eyes out.
And the girl on the left continues.
Coldly.
Mechanically.
Menacingly.
She has nothing nice left to say.

Despite her pretty face.

海