Human.

Thursday, November 18, 2010, 4:42 PM

"I am just an image of something so much greater
I am just a picture frame, I am not the painter
Where do I begin...?
What is this I feel within?"
Human - Civil Twilight


I think you're asking the wrong person.

To do the impossible. To do the expected. To do what is needed. To do what is wanted.

I think you're asking the wrong question. I think you're requesting too much.

I can't do it. Let me repeat myself.

I can't do it.


You're right. It's not as hard as I make it to be. You're right. If everyone else can do it, so can you.

But you're wrong.
This is the time for self-control.


I think this is the time for you to realize, these emotions aren't going away. This will, will not die. That this lock, is now frozen in place.
I can't move. Not on my own.

I'm facing reality. I see it. I understand it. But that's the present.

I'm no longer being told, living in the present is enough.
Being how I am, my existence, my life, is not enough.
I've lived like this my whole life. This is my happiness. My sanctuary.

Why are you taking it away?

Why are you hurting me?
Why?


Because I don't see how I'm wrong.
"You hate being wrong."

And I hate it even more when people say I'm wrong,
but they don't tell me why.


There's a reason for everything. I don't meet people for no reason. I don't talk to people for no reason. I have to have a purpose, a goal, a fulfillment, or reward.

I've spent my whole life. Working up my side of fulfillment. Life owes me.

I played by the rules, but that isn't enough.

I'm tired. Forget this.