It's not that hard to be lonely. To feel lonely.
The number one emotion humans turn to first is
loneliness.And that's why we're always striving to find love.
Whether it's to love or be loved.
Whether it's to be cared for or to care.
Whether it's about to fuck ourselves or fuck others.
We always try to feel something.
Anything.
Other than that undeniable void.You know how some people describe themselves as a
big, sucking, fucking black holes that just eat everything and anything. Then they actually realize that they're just being selfish.
Or a douchebag. Or an enema.
Whichever one floats your boat.Anyway, that selfishness is to try to fill in that
big, gaping black hole. Which obviously doesn't work, but they try it over and over again like the retards that we all are.
And
just like everyone else, I'm trying to fill in that void.
Sure, maybe not through love. D.L. was there when I could've chose that option.
Sure, maybe not by being cared for or caring for others. That's pretty obvious by my lack of attendance at school.
Sure, not by fucking anyone over, because I know that would just fuck me over. And I'm pretty fucked up as it is.
But I'm still that yawning, black abyss, taking everything and anything and killing stars that are bigger than me.
Stars that are glowing. Shining. Important with how they give light to this mute and suffocating world.
With how important they are. Just like everyone else.And if I had a choice, and we went back to see how I'm just like everyone else,
I think a lot of people would see that I'm not.
Because I'm ordinary.
I'm not fat. I'm not skinny. I'm not pretty. I'm not ugly.
I don't have a strong voice. I don't have a shy personality.
I don't try, but really, I'm trying my damnedest hardest.
I don't care, but I do give a flying fuck.
I've been lonely my whole life.
And there just doesn't seem to be any hope of breaking that horrendous smudge in my life.
Sixteen years is long. I feel like it's been long enough.Thanks for trying though.
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