I'm too scared to say this out loud.
So I'm just going to post about this.
Apparently, we're being evicted because of overdue rent. The rent was increased because
somebody was working full-time in our household.
I might not have a home by tomorrow.
Apparently, my father has disowned me. I need to start saving up to go to college. To go to university. If I don't make it, at least I'll be able to get my brother in.
I need to start working harder for scholarships.
I was going to start this post by saying sorry.
I'm sorry I'm this ungrateful little brat, but nothing is enough anymore.
Nothing means anything.
Nothing matters anymore.
Success and failure don't matter anymore.
I just need people.
I just need to fight for you guys.I had another "panic" attack again. After so long, I had another one.
It was more painful than the last one.
I kept thinking, repeating in my head over and over again,
"You're not breathing. You're not breathing."
And the girls that I left behind kept saying,
"I don't care. I don't care."I fought so hard to keep breathing. I held my breath for maybe only a minute, but it felt like half an hour.
My head was clear and full of the sound of my harsh, quick, panicked breathing. Every time I tried to breath in deep and breath out slowly, the breath left me, and I struggled to take another one in.
I tried to calm myself. Tap, tap, tap. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Tap, tap, tap.
But it wasn't going away.
When will it come back?
...I'm scared.Oh, and I might not have a phone by the end of the month.
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