Pin-point.

嫉妬する森の日没と相討ち
by 雨 @Pixiv

She has me right where she wants me.

I've been chasing her my whole life.

Every time I think I have her, it's someone else.

Every time I think I can be her, my face warps. Distorts. Becomes this ugly thing.

And suddenly, I feel like she's so close. She's right there, and the ending is right there.

I'm holding my breath, running for it, screaming for it, reaching out for it.

And suddenly, she's right there.

I have her.

And I close my eyes and she's right there.

I'm so scared. Scared of making her me. Scared of making her ugly. Just like me.

But I want to be her so bad. So fucking bad. For so fucking long.

So if I took her life, I could take her life.

I could be her.



But it's just not that simple.

No. It's not.

She has me right where she wants me. Above her, about to re-write her life with my name instead of hers.

And she's right below me, about to carve out my soul, and my heart, and scar me with her damned existence. About to write her name across my wrists.

And she still looks so beautiful.

She still looks like the girl I want to be.

Because that's who I want to be.

I want to be the girl who murders me.
Who kills this ugly monster.
Who takes the stake through her heart.

I want to be the one who changes myself.
Even if I have to kill myself.

Be mine.
海